Learning from my boys

I remember several years ago when I was reading my bible, I was in the old testament and as I read about the Israelites I became really frustrated. Here they are, things are going great, then they decide to try and do it their way and things would go bad. They would turn back to God and his way, but eventually they would try to do it their way again and it would go bad. I just couldn't understand why they would do that. Then the Holy Spirit gave me one of those, uh what was that you were saying, and I became very convicted. How many times do I try to do things my way, or what I want to do rather than God's way.

I am a pretty slow learner, so after having Henry I had several instances when I would be asking him questions like. Why did you do that? Didn't I just ask you not to do that? Is that how you want to be treated? Then the Holy Spirit gave me another, uh what was that? How many times do I do the very same thing. I know whats right, but that's not what I do. Just like Paul says in Romans 7:14-20. Then we had Jack and I would ask him similar questions. Then we had Eli and I did the same thing with him. I am learning grace, but I am a slow learner.

One day, I think it might have been Henry's second birthday, we had a really big day planned. It was so big and important I can't really remember what we had planned. We were at the Zoo, which was the first stop on our whirlwind, action packed day of fun. It was time for us to leave, because we had a schedule to meet, but Henry was not understanding the importance of the schedule. I was growing more and more frustrated with his lack of urgency. I turned around to express to him, again, the need to hurry, I witnessed him slowly walking along looking up at the sky. My frustration meter was growing closer to the red and just as I was about to lay into him, our eyes met and he said, "sure is a beautiful day isn't it dad". Ouch! How many times had I said that to him, but at that moment I was so focused on our fun day that I was missing the beauty of God's creation all around us. I slowed down and we did enjoy the day together.

I really like cars. I was about 12 when I started reading my dad's Hot Rod magazine and I haven't been able to escape the sickness since. In 1997 I bought a 1995 Mustang GT and I spent quite a bit of time and money throwing parts at it to get it to perform like a proper sports car. I autocrossed it with the local Sports Car Club of America for a couple years, but my real desire was to get it on a real race track. I finally got the opportunity with the KC Porsche club of America at Heartland Park in Topeka. I got four 15 minute sessions out on the track in my car with one of the KCPCA instructors riding with me along with some class room instruction. It was the most fun I have had in a car, but when it was over I couldn't wait to get home to Melanie and the boys. A couple months later I planned a similar event with my SCCA club at Hallett raceway in Oklahoma. As the time drew closer I found out that we would be spending the weekend with Melanie's family instead. I proceeded to pout, whine and complain. When the weekend came I was a grump. Finally Sunday night all the family was gone and I was sitting on the living room floor playing a game with Henry, when I realized it was about the time all the guys would be heading back from Hallett. It finally hit me that at that moment all of the fun would have been over and I would have been longing to be home. That's when I realized that playing a game with my son was way better than a whole weekend at the track. I don't understand God's currency, but some how when I try to fill myself I end up emptier. When I empty myself for God and others I end up being filled.

These are just a few of the things I have learned from my boys and unfortunately I am sure there will be more. My prayer is that some day I will be grown up enough to teach my boys something.

Brent.